22 9 / 2011

Harry has to go to the doctor after he shares a toilet seat with Rubeus Hagrid.

19 9 / 2011

After we find out “WHATS IN THE BOX?!?! WHATS IN THE BOX!?!?!” we follow Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman 15 years later when another serial killer is taking people out based on 7 things but instead of the 7 deadly sins he’s killing them based on the 7 Wonders of the Medieval World.  So one person will be leaning over like the Tower of Pisa and another victim will be buried in the Great Wall of China.. I don’t know man, its Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman!  You’ll sell fucking tickets!!

13 9 / 2011

Co-directed by Christopher Nolan and a guy that directed two syfy originals, the Dark Knight must travel out of Gotham and into San Diego where he enjoys two things: Surfing and crimefighting.  Bruce Wayne must win the annual surfing championship in order to win the heart of some other love interest that you care nothing about but if he really wants to win he can only do it once he’s dressed up as Batman.  Will he be able to jump over the Megashark in order to win the heart of.. umm… that chick?  Can he make it without the batsuit?  Will you really give this movie a billion dollars worldwide again?

07 9 / 2011

In this followup to the critically acclaimed Benjamin Button, David Fincher shows the story of Samuel Sweater, who was born as a man who was exactly 20-years-old.  As the years pass on he continues to be 20, never getting older or younger.  The film follows the struggles of a man who can never legally drink alcohol or legally have sex with a woman under 18, so he kills himself after about a week.

16 8 / 2011

27 years and 6 sequels ago, Police Academy skyrocketed the careers of Steve Guttenberg, Michael Winslow and Kim Cattrell into the stratosphere!  The Police Academy 2 put Bobcat Goldthwait on the map!  To the point where their careers were going so well, that they would never imagine doing a low-brow, low-budget film like Police Academy ever again… until now!  Kim Cattrell would have turned it down, but she spent all of Sex and the City money on hookers.

12 8 / 2011

Walker, Diesel, Tyrese, The Rock, Ana Lucia, Ludacris, Bow Wow, That Guy from Friday Night Lights, Jordana Brewster, and the rest head to Mexico.  Shit blows up, way too sexy girls appear at street races, drugs and money galore… that is all.

12 8 / 2011

The sixth installment of the cheerleader series gets patriotic all up in your face!  Aubrey loves two things in this world: Cheerleading and America.  As captain of the cheer squad she is happy, but one thing that makes her upset is the ongoing battle in the middle east so she decides to do something back.  She gets the girls to fly to Iraq, culminating with a dance-off against the top Iraqi cheer squad with the winners country getting to claim victory in the war.  Can the girls get the boys home?

11 8 / 2011

Darren Aronofsky’s thrilling sequel to the disturbing and thought-provoking film Pi.  Except this one is about Words with Friends.

11 8 / 2011

Imagine a world where robots have finally been able to develop natural intelligence.  Robots and humans existing side-by-side for the first time.  The 3 Rules of Humans: 1. Don’t feed the humans more than once a day or they’ll get fat.  2. No mating amongst the humans unless it is for robot viewing pleasure.  3. Pick up your humans waste.  Nobody wants to see that shit.

11 8 / 2011

We’ve seen this duo get into some crazy situations before, but literally nothing like this!  Harold is a junior executive at a trading company at Wall Street and engaged to Maria.  Kumar is just starting his residency and hopes to become a surgeon.  One day Kumar goes over to Harold’s for a barbecue and they enjoy pleasant conversation.  In one compelling scene, they discuss how the price of gas is going up.